In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
