No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you