it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
