I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
