Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
