Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
