I wish life had little blips of pornography
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
