He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
