Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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