So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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