So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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