God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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