Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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