You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize