At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
