I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When did angry sex become our thing?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
