We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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