i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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