you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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