wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm always down for nudity.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
