before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize