the condom got lost in my hair
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
