tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
