Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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