He kissed a someone with a penis
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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