The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
