So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
