I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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