My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
