Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
