return my video game
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
