I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
