im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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