WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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