I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
