standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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