Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
