I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
