just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
