Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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