a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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