He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
