don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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