idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
