Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we made out on top of his cat.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
