Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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