its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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