My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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