Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
