I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
