He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
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This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.