So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
