Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
