Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

Fav 35 4563 1838
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

Fav 124 6683 2732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

Fav 7 3444 1411
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

Fav 9 3530 1472
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

Fav 4 2811 1152
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.

Fav 13 1706 2610
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

Fav 19 867 3858
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

Fav 4 1106 560
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.

Fav 0 162 61
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT