ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I love you. Go after that dick
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness