Having a random hookup so left but love u
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened