I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
