I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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