Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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