New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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