when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
