drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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