i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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