I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was like having sex with a tree stump
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
