This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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