either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
