I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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