you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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