we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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