apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
