I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
