Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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