I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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